What do you bring to the party?

Expectations are risky; they are often the source of misunderstandings, assumptions and unfulfilled wishes which later become the harbingers of resentment. But I was reflecting the other day on what I expect of my Aikido students, and what they may rightly expect of me.

I see Aikido as a dynamic event that is like a party in which each person brings a critical component - themselves. Each person is a critical player, and creates a unique event by being there, by being fully present.

As the teacher, I try hard to bring the "Ai," the harmony, by creating peace within the club, within the training hall, and to keep the peace between those training. For this reason, when the dojo was built, I took special care in the mundane aspects of such things as the paint on the walls, the softness of the dojo floor, and the lighting - the subtleties of our surroundings which affect our sense of being.

From my students, I ask for the "ki." I ask them to come to class with positive energy, enthusiasm, a desire to let go of their outside world and connect with others also traveling on a profound journey. It is a journey where they are able to focus on themselves, their own inner balance, and to cultivate the ability to call up that calm balance at will. This is not to say they dismiss their outside problems, or ignore them; but they leave them at the door, like a coat hung on a hook. I promise them their problems will be there waiting for them when they leave, but by leaving their troubles, for 2 hours, and letting go of them, they will be that much better able to deal with them effectively. People need an escape, a place of sanctuary to clear their minds, so that they can return afresh to life's daily assaults, if they want to deal effectively and efficiently with those assaults, and not simply be constantly reacting (and over-reacting) to every barrage of life, like a ricocheting pinball in an arcade game.

Finally, I explain to my students that our aikido federation was chosen carefully, as a group of people I believed could show us the "Do," or the Way. Joining a Federation was never a matter of identity politics, promotions, or promotional concerns; it was a premonition that, as I got to know our sensei and his senior students, I found myself wanting to emulate them, believing that I needed to go where they were, think like they think, to be like them - to be like these people I had come so much to admire. I believed if I followed their path in Aikido, I could achieve a better life. It was more than doing Aikido "techniques," more than "doing Aikido" - for me, it was about "living" Aikido.

I bring the Ai, students bring the Ki, and our sensei shows the Do. Anyone up for a party?